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Free from porn - 11/3/2008 9:44:09 PM
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spiritchsr1
Posts: 143
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Ohio
Status: offline
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I've looked at porn stuff for years, and I've prayed and prayed to the Lord to help me kick the habbit. Just when thought he was not going to answer my prayer, He did!
I just got sick and tired of looking at the stuff, and wanted to tell someone about it. I prayed in church with the ministry team off and on, and that didn't help. No one was listening.
I finally got up the courage and told my wife the other night. She cried and got mad at me and wouldn't talk to me for a couple days but I felt free at last. I felt like a real heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders.
Our marriage has been a rough one. With the kids we have never had much time to ourselves to do anything together. We were so far apart and I felt really lonely. We also attend two different churches.
I told her that her and I need to spend time together in the Bible so that we can reap the fruits of the Spirit. We are now spending time in the Bible every night. We will change things around through the word and let the Lord lead us. She is no longer mad at me.
She also gave me a website to look at called www.settcaptivesfree.com
I told my Pastor about it also. He prayed with me and I am going to sett up an appointment with him for Baptism. PRAISE THE LORD! YEA GOD!!!
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RE: Free from porn - 11/5/2008 8:22:56 PM
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Amped88
Posts: 42
Joined: 5/6/2008
Status: offline
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Wow! that took a lot of courage to tell your wife about it!! I am so very happy for you and your family. Getting the fruit of the spirit together is awesome idea to bring you both closer together. I pray that you continue to do that. Nothing is more important than God and family. Maybe you guys could compromise and start going to church together. Either find another church or maybe switch on and off of the one each of you goto. Wish the best for you bro!
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RE: Free from porn - 11/6/2008 12:07:41 PM
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Cornhusker00
Posts: 14
Joined: 10/20/2008
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It is good that you have repented of this, and what you are feeling now with the disgust is the consequences of what you were doing. Now, you need to make sure that you put measures into place so that you don't fall back into this. This temptation will rear it's ugly head again, and right now is a golden time for you to establish good habits and practices that will protect you and your family when you are tempted at a later time. I say this from experience, both from my life and others'.
You need to make sure that the relationship with your wife is close and you communicate. Pornography and adultery usually wedge their way into a marriage when there is a distance. In your case, you felt distanced from your wife and you were looking for a form of "being wanted." Pornography is a counterfeit for sex within the bounds of marriage. It is where the women are always willing and want you with them... at least, that's how you feel. Pornography has no allure when you feel wanted by your wife and things are going good, but the minute you have an argument and you feel she isn't quite as keen on you is when the temptation will regain some power. You'll need to assess your own life to determine when you are weakest to this thing, but take an inventory and then develop a battle plan that will protect you from impurity. Find a group of men who you are close with and hold each other accountable. I suggest you do this rather than talk to your wife simply because other men know where you are coming from and will challenge you as a man. Talking with your wife about it or having her hold you accountable will probably have a detrimental effect. (You have to realize, women find safety and security in their husband. When pornography comes into the picture, the woman starts thinking "Why am I not good enough?" and will start to feel insecure in her standing with you because she's feeling like you don't think she is enough for you.)
I can't stress enough the importance of killing this thing now. Do whatever you have to do! Hate your sin and OVERKILL it, just as David did with Goliath when he cut off his head. Goliath was already dead, but David wanted it to be absolutely certain to himself and everyone around him that Goliath was no longer a threat. This is your giant.. do the same.
I encourage you to read "Every Man's Battle." I can't think of the authors of this book, but you can find it with no problem. Also, "Sexual Integrity" by Edwin Louis Cole is a good book, as well as Maximized Manhood By Edwin Louis Cole.
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RE: Free from porn - 11/6/2008 9:24:39 PM
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spiritchsr1
Posts: 143
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Ohio
Status: offline
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Hey Thanks to everyone who has written in support of this problem. My wife and I are getting into the Bible for about a half hour every night now. The feeling is awesome and we are starting to draw a little closer.
We are bouncing around in the Bible to where ever she has questions. Last night we were in Romans Chappter 6. The night before we were studying Baptism. Both of us were raised and baptised Catholic. She is now Lutheran and I am Non Denominational. The night before we were in the book of Gallations Chapter 5. So we are letting the Lord guide us in our Bible time.
We can now admit to each other all the wicked things we did together that were wrong and displeasing to God. It is totally awesom how God works this out just by sitting down and getting into the Bible for a half hour every night.
God has already answered one of our prayers. She just found a temporary part time job. It's better then no job at all. God has answered a second prayer. He is bringing us closer together as well.
I hope this post will encourage others who may have a similar problem to take hold of it and get it out in the open between each other.
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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RE: Free from porn - 11/7/2008 6:37:54 PM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 351
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline
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Hello spiritchsr1
Brother, I would say you are on the right track. Keep going. Remember, manhood is under attack these days but God helps those that look to Him.
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RE: Free from porn - 11/11/2008 10:36:13 PM
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dwain
Posts: 103
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
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It was like the widow and the unjust judge for me when I quit smoking cigarettes on my b-day last year.
I have quit before for 10 years, smoked again for 6 years, and quit July 3, 2007.
I am single, 48, and never been married. I have wasted time and my hard earned money on pornography. I asked God to make me sick of cigarettes. He did.
There was a survey done by Reader's Digest many years ago, I remember reading, that said; the healty average American male thinks of sex, on the average once every 7 minutes. That "they" said is "normal".
This is no excuse for pornography.
I have read some of the survey's by Kinsey that said 24 out of 25 college men masturbate as their primary sex outlet. These surveys were taken in the 50's. This is no excuse for pornography.
I had tried to justify looking at Lingerie ads, women in their undergarments, pantyhose, girdles etc. not considering it to be pornography. I had also gone so far as to say, I am no Doctor, and research proves there is no tenable position that occasional masturbation is abormal.
The end result of looking at images for arousal, is always
a big let-down. I did two 90 day underwater cruises abord the USS Simon Bolivar, and yes, there were plenty of Hustler, Penthouse and Playboy.
They did not nearly compare with being in the arms of one I cared for.
Some psychiatrist's say, people just outgrow it. (Porn and masturbation)
A constant looking forward to temporal pleasure of any kind is unfruitful.
There are no significant data that show if those who masturbate through image arousal, whether through literature, or images in their mind
develope any less successful relationships within the confines of Marraige, than those who have had no sexual arousal to climax before a Marraige relationship.
I am sure those who were blessed enough to completely stay away from porn would have much better success in Marraige and developing the proper sexual relationship within the confines of Holy Matrimony.
Pornography to me causes a lot of heartache and broken fellowship with the Lord Jesus, and wrecks healthy relationships. I can see no good in it.
I know porn grieves the Holy Spirit.
If you want to be free, ask the Lord to make you sick of it, and to remind you He loves you and would never want you to be miserable.
To all the young men and even the older who have broken the addiction, I know God can sustain you, and will give you a far better relationship with Himself and others because of your desire to abstain from idols and images.
I know I would not want my sister posing for pornographic pictures.
Paul said, When I became a man, I put away childish things.
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RE: Free from porn - 11/30/2008 11:24:12 AM
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hemst
Posts: 4
Joined: 11/30/2008
Status: offline
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I don't want to take away from the victory but I have to add that there are many who have been freed from porn... for a couple weeks/months/years and then all of a sudden things started flowing back in and they really fell back into it. I am not saying you should expect it but you need to really put some good habits and support in place, other than your wife, for it to be something that sticks. I only say this as a warning. It may not happen but I have heard of guys who really wanted to whip it and they thought they had and then it reared its ugly head in a way they were not expecting. I really don't want to take away from what God has been doing in you. I just wanted to give you a warning.
Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12
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