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Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/2/2008 2:03:53 PM
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whatswrongwithme
Posts: 10
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I dont know what is wrong with me lately. I need help. My relationship with God is ruined thanks to the choices I have made. I have continued to put Him last in my life even though I know He deserves to be first. I have put myself first, others first, family first, a man first, money, job first, everyone and everything except God first. I used to be a good Christian now I am consumed with what the world is doing. I used to write in my journal to God whom I considered my Husband, now I am concerned with how I look, what others are thinking of me, how much money I can make, and on and on. I used to be so in love with the Lord, now I barely give Him the time of day. I dont hear Him like I once use to be able to, I feel lost and alone without Him. I have engaged in drinking, partying, sex and cigarette smoking, this is not like me. What is happening to me? I used to be so on fire for God once. I would never think to do these things, now I am all messed up and like the world. I read trashy tabloid magazines probably because they make me feel better about myself, and I cuss all the time. I get envious of Christians and of people who do not know the Lord. I am a horrible person, and I need help.
Have I gone too far? Does God still want me back? How can I hear His voice again? I feel so unclear, and crying within for help. I want to change and have tried to but cant change myself. I feel He does not want anything to do with me because I let Him down. QUESTION, can we let God down one too many times that He does not come back to us like before. I feel I have done just this. I kept promising God that if He would just help me with this situation that I would read His Word everyday. Well He did help me out in the situation I was in, but I have not read His workd in over like a year now. Then I would promise to do the same and change if He only would come through for me, and of course He did, but I would aways not come through on my end of the bargain. Have I failed Him so miserably that He no longer wants to part take of me? Has He turned me loose and let me go my own way? Does He still think about me? Does He miss me? I miss Him but am a wretched person, what should I do now?
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/2/2008 2:46:17 PM
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whatswrongwithme
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I feel so awful all the time. I feel sick, depressed and very lonely. Like a lost little girl searching for something. I turn to food for comfort but that does not work, I have turned to just about everything and everyone for help and that does not work either. I feel so dirty and sick in the head. No one can help me, and the One that can help me seems far off. I cant take it anymore. I just cant take it anymore. I have repented and still my fellowship with Him has not been restored. Our trust has been broken. Once we had a lovely trust for one another, but today its all gone, nothing but dust. Has anyone ever been here where I am, what did you do? Please help, I am dying here.
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/2/2008 3:13:58 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4478
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you aren't alone in having alone and rejected. even King David, a man after God's Heart commited adultery and murder. earlier in his life he was hunted by the king and thousands of his men and felt all alone. this is where faith comes in. below are some scripture i recently shared with someone going through something similiar. you may still have some unresolved feelings of guilt too though. it doesn't matter what you did - smoking, partying, sex - God forgives when we ask ...
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Joshua 1:5 No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
1 Kings 8:57 May the LORD our God be with us as he was with our fathers; may he never leave us nor forsake us.
Psalm 9:10 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 38:21 O LORD, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God.
_____________________________
Photoblogging My Life
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/2/2008 3:17:21 PM
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laura...
Posts: 2925
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From: NE Ohio
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1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Revelations 2:4 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. 5 Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.
You have taken the first step. You have confessed your sin and repented. God's word says that God is faithful to forgive you and to purify you. That is a fact not a feeling. You may not feel righteous. You may not feel forgiven. You may not feel like you are in a relationship with God. But, you are. That is a fact.
It is impossible to let God down. God being let down assumes that God was expecting something different from you. He wasn't. God is omniscient -- all knowing. He knew you before you were born. He knew what you would do, wouldn't do before He created the world. He knows every thought you have ever thought and will ever think. You can't let God down. You can't disappoint Him. Jesus paid for every sin you have ever committed and ever will commit when He died on the cross.
You can be assured that God has not turned you loose to go your own way because you still care, you are still being convicted by the Holy Spirit. If God had let you go, you wouldn't care.
The second step is to "do the things you did at first". You've travelled a long way down the path of sin. It will take time to walk back. The walk back involves doing what you use to do...bible reading, church attendance, prayer, journalling. Just start. Even a little bit every day is better than nothing.
Do not despair. God has not left you. He will never leave you. This is an opportunity for you to discover the unfailing love of the Lord. As you turn back to Him and do the things you use to do before you went the other way you will slowly regain the assurance of His love for you. Until then, you must just accept it as fact.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/2/2008 5:41:22 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1944
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C'mere and let me give you a warm hug, Whatswrongwithme. (HUG)
You've been given excellent advice based on Scripture (the only thing we know for sure is true) - please pay close attention to what they said.
You want to come back because God is calling you back - unforgiven sinners can't respond to God because they are spiritually dead. Yell at or hit a dead person and see if they respond. The only thing that will happen is that you'll get kicked out of the funeral home.  But God is calling and you're responding. You're alive, and it's because you are His.
He never gets tired of forgiving us (which has got to be a proof that He is God - who else would do that?). Your sin was paid for 2000 years ago, when you hadn't even sinned yet and all your sin was future. Jesus rose from the dead to prove sin was forgiven, because one unforgiven sin would have kept Him in the grave (sin demands death to pay for it. When it's paid for, death dies and life wins). It's ALL forgiven.
So here's the drill, if you haven't done it already: confess your sin, as much as you can remember (confess means to say the same thing: God said it was sin so you say it was sin), repent of it (turn around and go the other way - act differently in the future) and then - are you listening, dear one? - jump up and down and rejoice like crazy that your sin is GONE! There is nothing between God and you to separate you! Your relationship is restored and perfect. Wow. Isn't He an amazing God? So climb into His lap and rest awhile; you've had a hard time.
Now you're going to come under spiritual attack - in fact, you already are. The devil whispers in your ear that you went too far, God won't always forgive you, He's tired of you... Horse feathers! Read Romans 6, 7 and 8. Notice Rom. 8:1 says you are no longer under condemnation because you are in Christ. Jesus said:
And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. John 10:28
When we resist the devil he has to flee (James 4:7). So tell him to bug off in Jesus' name, and don't forget to thank God for loving you and protecting you.
You're the prodigal son who came home, and heaven rejoices:
4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!' Luke 15: 4 ff
Literally, God is throwing a party up there! He's so glad you're back.
What to do now? There's a saying that sin will keep you from the Bible and the Bible will keep you from sin. So get your face back into your Bible (maybe buy yourself a new one that's easy to read?). Go find a Bible-teaching church if you don't have one and tell the pastor (whose job it is to shepherd God's flock, including you) your story and let his wisdom counsel you. If he doesn't, find another church whose pastor will, and join that one. God's people are commanded by God to love one another, so they are commanded to love you! If they don't, they're in sin, not you. If they think your sin is too bad for their company, then they've never faced their own sins and they are only pretending to live the Christian life. Keep looking. I recommend a Presbyterian PCA (not PCUSA) church because of the good Bible teaching that has many members warm and understanding because they have faced their own sin. But there are other churches, so find one.
Keep short accounts with God. If you catch yourself sinning (and we all sin), promptly confess and repent it. If God brings something to mind you did before that was awful, thank Him on the spot for forgiving it. Done!
Now go get into fellowship with some Christians (who are also sinners, so don't expect perfection. In fact, some will be downright annoying. God puts at least one of those in every group so people can practice unconditional love ) and get on with the business of life. Love those people, love God, serve others, thank God daily and read His Word daily, and rejoice in your exalted state: you are a daughter of the King!
Rock on, Christian! The best is yet to be.  May God richly bless you, forgiven one!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/3/2008 3:35:32 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 766
Joined: 11/28/2005
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quote:
I read trashy tabloid magazines probably because they make me feel better about myself, and I cuss all the time. I get envious of Christians and of people who do not know the Lord. I am a horrible person, and I need help.
*Like sheep, we have all gone astray...
Return, repent and re-commit yourself to
Following Christ.
The thing I keep getting from reading your post is:
God was gradually put on the passenger seat in your life and
you did the driving. God desires to be first not second!
When you fail to seek Him - you start going after things
in the World.
Work out your salvation daily - set aside time personally to grow in your
faith - do Bible devotions/prayer - attend church faithfully - seek friendships with mature Christians - turn off/get rid of secular influences - the Bible tells us that all things are lawfully for us but not all things are profitable - it's like eating junk food all the time... sooner or later it's going to hurt your body! Consuming too much of the "world" will have the same effect! It's hard to feel close to God when you're doing things like: engaging in promiscuous sex, cussing, listen to ungodly music/friends, reading trashy magazines/books - watching trashy movies! and surrounding yourself with worldly friends who have no respect for God.
When you started making bad decisions/choices in your life - you gave away yourself a little bit at a time... like Lot in the Bible --- he knew God
and knew what he should doing but Lot loved the World and he made bad choices that reflected where his heart was... in the world - Lot's life was wasted! He influenced no one for the Lord - 10 righteous people couldn't be found to stop the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah!
*Draw near to God and He will draw near to you...
David wrote this after he'd been rebuked for his transgressions and repented to the Lord -
From Psalm 51 {an excerpt}
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/3/2008 4:06:11 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 5559
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From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
QUESTION, can we let God down one too many times that He does not come back to us like before. No.
Start speaking with Him again. Even if it's just 'Hey God, it's just me.' first thing in the morning. I know that some people can jump straight back into a relationship with God after neglecting Him, others have to do it slowly and gradually. There is no right way. Just as long as you do it!
_____________________________
I could give up chocolate ~ but I'm no quitter!
My blog
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/4/2008 4:42:50 AM
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whatswrongwithme
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You guys do offer some good adive here if I may say so myself. Its going to be a long road back for me, but something wants to make it all the way back this time. I guess it is Him and He has not left me, who else could it be? I dont know the way back, but going to church, reading my bible, and praying are all ways that I figure are the way back. I used to be so kind, so loving so patient with kids and people. I used to be so Christ like. Now I am just me and it really stinks. I want to be Christ like again. I dont want to walk in the flesh. Please keep me in your prayers. I have tried before to come back to the Lord but it never worked, this time seems differernt. I want that back again, and I miss Him so much. I miss our fellowship and I miss the everyday things of being a Christian like protection, blessings, safety, ect. I pray I can do it this time. I dont know if I am ever going to be the person I once was. I know I wont be without Him, but maybe He is making me into someone else this time. I dont know. THank you for your replies
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/4/2008 7:52:53 AM
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peacebearer
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It would be a mistake for you to go back to being exactly the person you once were. You have learnt something about yourself through this time of 'backsliding'. You've learnt that we can't trust our flesh nature and that the great love that we thought we had for God is not to be trusted when the great trials come. The trials that show us who and what we are. The trials that reveal to us things in ourselves that we didn't even know were there.
But yes, the love for the Lord that was birthed in you when you first became a Christian, that love you can go back to. That love did not originate in the flesh and it is this love that is drawing you back to God right now. It was birthed by the Holy Spirit and it is the love that will not let you go. It is capable of faithfulness but fleshly love that professes love for God cannot guarantee faithfulness.
What I did when I went through what you're going through? I told the Lord that I loved Him. I'll always love Him. But there are pains and emptinesses in my life that leave me vulnerable to doing things my own way. That leave me vulnerable to sin. But it would break my heart to see His heart break. And it is not my intention to dishonor His name by walking in sin. So please Lord, please hold my hand so that I don't fall. For Your great and glorious Name's sake.
And He held my hand, even when temptation plonked itself right in my lap and everything in me wanted to respond. And He kept holding my hand time and again. And I love Him even more than I did before I went through all those stumblings and trips and falls. But I trust His strength now. Not my own.
_____________________________
"For to me to live is Christ, to die is gain" Philippians 1: 21
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/4/2008 3:10:33 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1944
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quote:
ORIGINAL: whatswrongwithme
I used to be so kind, so loving so patient with kids and people. I used to be so Christ like. Now I am just me and it really stinks.
Whoo-woo! Forgive my exuberance in your sorrow, Whatswrongwithme, but you just hit the bull'seye! We are sinners and we really stink! That's why God came to die for us. You and God are seeing eye to eye for maybe the first time. He says we were totally lost in our sin and He had to rescue us from ourselves.
Your former "goodness" was probably generated by you and gave you a reason to feel proud of yourself and self-sufficient. Now you know you have nothing to give, and instead can have a heart full of gratitude for what He has given you, and you'll start resting in His grace rather than DIY.
We have no reason to be proud. We have no reason to demand anything. Everything we have we were given. We finally find ourselves where God wants us - grateful and looking to Him for everything. Then He pours His love, His kindness, His patience into us like we never had before. It's not a scary place to be, but the only secure place to be. He has proven His goodness, protection and provision over and over and over. We are safe in Him. Praise His holy name forever! <backflips>
Sometimes God has to let us hit bottom and realize what He knew all along - we're sinners and helpless. Totally depraved. When we get to that point then we are lined up with God's Word that says "there is now no condemnation," because Christ paid the price for you and it's paid in full. You have empty hands and can give nothing to God. He will give it all to you instead.
So look around you - your sin is forgiven and you have nothing except Christ in you, the great mystery and answer of life. He knows you have nothing, and He invites you to rest totally on Him. Everything He has is your inheritance. Pretty cool, eh?
There is no guilt - it's been legally declared gone. God will never get mad at you, because His anger was poured out on Jesus on the cross.
You are free. You can sit on your couch and rejoice that God gave you a couch. And maybe a good night's sleep. Say "thank You." Eat lunch. Say "thank You." Pick up a Bible and read the stories, glory in the promises, rejoice in what it means to you. Drive to work, and say "thank You" for the car or bus and the job. Know He is working in your life and steering you to His goodness. Know the problems are there to shape you, teach you to run back to Him for answers, and to show you how well He can work things out.
quote:
I want to be Christ like again. I dont want to walk in the flesh.
<Backflips>
quote:
Please keep me in your prayers. I have tried before to come back to the Lord but it never worked, this time seems differernt.
This is probably the first time you gave up on yourself. Congratulations on finding the way! Every mature Christian has passed through this door.
quote:
I want that back again, and I miss Him so much. I miss our fellowship and I miss the everyday things of being a Christian like protection, blessings, safety, ect.
You're back. You just opened your eyes and found yourself in God's arms. Rejoice and relax and enjoy it. Thank Him!
quote:
I pray I can do it this time.
You can't do it. He can. Lean on Him, and thank Him no one can take you out of His hand. Quit trying to generate what you need; you're a sinner and can't. He'll do it for you.
quote:
I dont know if I am ever going to be the person I once was.
Let's hope not. Honestly, that's not a slam. The person you were before was doing it in the flesh. Now you know who you are, and who He is and what He did for you. You stand in His spotlight of love, clothed only in His righteousness. You can be relaxed and confident.
Have you ever read "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"? Look at Edmond's posture at the end. Everyone knew he had been a traitor, but he just kept his eyes on Aslan and ignored everyone else. He was calm and confident - a truly forgiven and restored sinner.
quote:
I know I wont be without Him, but maybe He is making me into someone else this time. I dont know. THank you for your replies
I think you are being made into who God always intended you to be, and now He has your cooperation. Expect to see wonderful things happening, and problems come that you'll take to Him. He has the answers and will teach you to run home to Daddy. He has a good plan for fixing everything.
God bless you, dear one. It's a delight to see you on the right path at last!
Aside: you'll see yourself in the book "Pilgrim's Progress." Wonderful book! I highly recommend it.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/4/2008 5:53:16 PM
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chrisb743
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I know the feeling dear. It's a struggle. I too have been failing over and over for the past year.. how? sex... I've been divorced for 4 years.. went through dark dark days of lonliness.. I though i'd never feel love again.. but those days made me closer to the Lord.. It was good for me.. I finally got well... About a year ago... after many many failures of dating.. I met someone... A Christian.... We were good for a while... But we gave in... The thing with us.. Thats our weakness.. It was mine way before i ever knew her.. and hers as well... so we struggle.. We pray.. I hate it.. I know I'm missing out on the Lord's blessings and his will for my life.. I use to be in youth ministry.. in a small role.. but i loved it.. I want to get back into it.. So yeah... I know your feelings.. It's like someone said earlier in the posts.. the fact that your crying out is awesome.. If it didn't bother us we would be in trouble.. God never lets me stay in the pig pen.. He always calls out.. " hey Chris.. you had enough of that mess? come on back to me son"
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/6/2008 10:35:06 AM
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Trusting.in.Him
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Good news, whatswrongwithme -- God ALWAYS promises us a way out of our temptation!
Easier said than done? Sure! It won't be easy. It's easy to WANT to return to Christ. But here's the thing...in order for us to get past the 'willing' stage, you must WANT to be rid of your sin! You must be ready to leave it behind! Otherwise, when you face that temptation, if you don't realize the destruction it's gonna cause, the abomination it is to the LORD, you will find yourself right back in it. I don't want to make it sound like it's all about works. We definitely have no room for legalism in our lives. But at the same time, you can't go with God and not deal with your sin, of course not meaning that you have to PAY for it (that has already been done!!!!!!) but rather dispose of it! Dispose of the sex, the smoking, the foulness, and the trash, because as God's child, YOU are soooooo much cleaner than the filth you find yourself messing in! You my friend are white as snow because of Jesus's blood but when we dabble in filth, we grieve the Holy Spirt and our relationship with Him is damaged. Ask God to take away your desire for your sin. Because as long as you are still determined to satisfy your flesh, you'll find yourself back where you were! Once you are determined to leave it all behind for good, it is HIM that will keep you from stumbling!
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/6/2008 1:00:30 PM
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whatswrongwithme
Posts: 10
Joined: 12/2/2008
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I am for sure ready to make the changes that I need to right now. I really miss the person I used to be, and I miss Him above all. I feel empty and my life seems worthless and meaningless without Him. Its like I go to work, come home, sleep, and then I do it all again the next day. Its so pointless. I remember with Him I had LIFE. I had purpose and a destination. Without Him I am lost and depressed and worried all the time about my job, about things going wrong, about bad things happening to me. I just dont know how I am going to get back on track. I am looking for a church near by to go to. I started reading a little bit of the bible online.
I am done with my sin. I never want to have sex outside of marriage again. I dont want to smoke another cigarette or be drunk. I dont want to cuss and I dont want to read tabloids anymore. I feel disgusted by these things. I have had enough of this life, I want a NEW LIFE WITH CHRIST. I so desperately desire this again. I dont want to be where I have been and I dont want to be left where I am right now. Just please keep praying for me that I find the straight and narrow path. I really do want to change and am ready to make the changes that are necessary.
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/6/2008 2:09:42 PM
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MisterTR
Posts: 65
Joined: 5/23/2008
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James McDonald's latest series is about repentance. He talked about the need to really be repulsed by the sin you used to have. Sounds like you are hating your old sin and are repulsed by it, which is a good thing, right?
_____________________________
"And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/6/2008 2:30:30 PM
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whatswrongwithme
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Yeah it is a good thing that I am disgusted by my own actions. It too years for me to get to this point and I dont expect for my life to change in just one day. I've really had enough though. I dont want to live now unless its with Christ.
I forgot to mention that I have dabbled with other religions. I used to study religion in my undergraduate work so I learned all about Buddhism, Hinduisim, Judaism, and the rest of them. I remember how alluring they were to me and how mad I use to ge at God for making such a NARROW way, and that the rest of the people that believed in these other religions would go to hell. I use to get so upset over this and rebelled. I never actually practiced other religions or converted to them just listened to them and remember thinking how cool they all seemed when compared to the boring Christianity I was used to. Well its not boring at all now. I miss it terribly, and want to come back finally. I wonder if God can use all this in the future. Not to sound wrong or anything, but I feel like through the life I lived, I can pretty much reach anyone because I have been there and done that all. Its like I debliberately rebelled because I was tired of being a Christian. I was a Christian my whole life and felt I was missing out on something...so I tried the world....well the world has nothing good to offer me. I know this now for a fact. Why did I have to learn this the hard way? Why didnt I just listen to what I was taught? Sounds strange.
I also feel since I have lived my life in the world, I am missing something. I dont have the biblical wisedom that many people here have. I dont have that knowledge that I once used to have. I am so accustomed to not listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit its hard to train my spirit to do it again.
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/6/2008 4:22:05 PM
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delete123
Posts: 991
Joined: 6/1/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: whatswrongwithme
Its like I debliberately rebelled because I was tired of being a Christian. I was a Christian my whole life and felt I was missing out on something...
quote:
Why did I have to learn this the hard way? Why didnt I just listen to what I was taught?
The first quote answers your questions: You said you rebelled and believed the world had something better to offer you. Well you just learned that it doesn't.
quote:
I also feel since I have lived my life in the world, I am missing something.
You were, you were missing Jesus and the plan that He has for you.
Now that He has called you back home and He is overjoyed to have you back (like the prodgical son's father) all you have to do now is listen!
He will say welcome home my dear child, let's talk
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/6/2008 10:22:03 PM
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whatswrongwithme
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Yeah it would be nice to hear those words..or to hear anything really. I am so desperate to hear Him again. Much of my coming back to Him has been about works, which I know its not suppose to be about. I know I messed up so I am trying to fix my ownself and my own path which let me tell you does not work. I cant fix myself I am too messed up to do that. I am not saying that He cant fix me, just that I cant fix my own self. I believe He can fix me and straighten me out. I just noticed that for the past few months since I have been really trying to get back on track so to speak, I have been trying to do that. I just want Him to so desperately speak to me, and say something. I wonder what He is thinking about the life I have lived. I know He doesnt approve because its been one that is not best for me, and deep inside I know He has better. I guess right now I am dealing with issues of guilt and feeling unworthy like the prodical son. Why would God want me back when all I did was ruin His plan for me...I guess He really is a mighty God and a very loving one for that matter..so loving that I cant comprehend it right now.
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/8/2008 1:14:59 AM
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tmuny
Posts: 11
Joined: 12/7/2008
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Someone once told me that even if we don't follow His plan for our lives and we mess up. He will turn ashes into beauty. He will take your mistakes and allow you to use that to help someone else. I guess I didn't understand this until now.
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/8/2008 9:51:09 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 4166
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
Status: offline
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A former pastor once said that when bad attitudes and actions come up (after being more like HIM) that God is working with us to purge out stuff that is down inside our hearts and minds that we keep hidden (even from ourselves). Peter professed he was willing to die for Jesus and in less than 24 hours was denying he ever knew Him even to a slave girl. 50 days later he preached a sermon that led 3000 people to the Lord.
Take this whole process as the next step in your sanctification.
_____________________________
Avatar is DW holding Saphira at her first birthday party and myself holding Louvena at 30 months!
We are now grandparents TWICE!!
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Our CD is now available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/8/2008 10:44:30 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1867
Joined: 5/23/2006
Status: offline
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whatswrong
In regards to your first post I just want to tell you- The steadfast love of the Lord NEVER ceases..His mercies NEVER come to an end...they are new EVERY MORNING.
Today is a new day- a day God has more love for you than you can ever begin to use up. His supply is endless. Talk to Him as you would your best friend, because that is exactly who He desires to be in your life.
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/8/2008 10:59:03 AM
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mrf084
Posts: 103
Joined: 12/14/2007
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Approval from God isn't necessary for Him to love us. It seems that you are trying to do the right things for the wrong reasons. It might behoove you to simply attempt to do the right things because they are the right things. You are a Child of God, created in His image, with plans laid out for you in advance despite what you might do to wreck them. Parents may not always approve of what their children do but they always love them. Enjoy God's grace.
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/8/2008 1:28:28 PM
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whatswrongwithme
Posts: 10
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
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DaveW...I like what you had to say about the purging. Maybe those things have always been in me but I never acted on them until recently. I like how you said that I should see it as the NEXT step. This whole time I have been thinking I am going back back back, but maybe just maybe this is a step forward. You guys never knew me before all this. I was the purest thing ever, I never even said a bad thing to anyone, never cussed, never would have thought to do the things I have listed here on this post. I guess they were deep inside of me, and I am definitely humbled and broken before Him like I never was before. I never really was broken. I always knew Him since I was little. I grew up going to church, and having a real relationship with Himfor many many years of my life. I guess those things have always been there, and they came out. I am ready for the next step of santification if this is in fact what it is. This is the first thing that made sense to me in a long time...becasue I never understood why. I get it now. Thanks DaveW.
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/8/2008 2:07:44 PM
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laura...
Posts: 2925
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
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quote:
I was the purest thing ever, I never even said a bad thing to anyone, never cussed, never would have thought to do the things I have listed here on this post. I guess they were deep inside of me, and I am definitely humbled and broken before Him like I never was before. I never really was broken.
Sin nature is in all of us. None of us can be broken and humbled until we realize that. None of us can truly comprehend our need for a Savior until we realize that.
quote:
I always knew Him since I was little. I grew up going to church, and having a real relationship with Himfor many many years of my life. I guess those things have always been there, and they came out. I am ready for the next step of santification if this is in fact what it is.
I didn't grow up in the church. (I was raised Catholic but that's not the same as growing up in Sunday School.) At the time that I first heard the gospel in regards to my needing a Savior, I knew that I was broken and sinful. I raised my children in the church. They grew up in Sunday School, Children's Church and Youth group. I was concerned for them and I have been concerned for the other youth of the Church that they don't really understand their own sin nature and their own desparate need of a Savior.
Growing up in church there is so much emphasis on behavior. Children of Christian grow up knowing how to act Christian. They are essentially told all their lives that they ARE Christian when perhaps they are not. Nobody is born a Christian. Everybody must be born again in order to be a Christian. Being born again only comes with a recognition that we are all dead in our sins and even our best "Christian" behavior isn't good enough to save us.
God in His infinite mercy has pulled the plug on your ability to "act" Christian so that you could truly discover His grace and love for you.
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This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Have I Gone Too Far? - 12/12/2008 4:24:36 PM
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whatswrongwithme
Posts: 10
Joined: 12/2/2008
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Hmmm....You might have a point too Laura, thanks for your thoughts. I see how horrible I am without Christ.
I really do think its a purging though. I love music, and pop culture and growing up I got so much of it ingested in me, even though I was going to church and all. I had all that junk around me (I am in my late twenties now). I look back on some of the things I was listening to and the people I was looking up to and they were not godly at all. I pray its some kind of a purging of all those years of popular and secular life. I still think DaveW hit it on the nail. I find myself repenting of listening to secular music which I did for years and years. I am praying God would give me a love for heavenly music, not garbage and trash we see on t.v.these days.
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