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RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly?

 
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RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 9/18/2009 11:01:12 AM   
trainfan


Posts: 4756
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: The land of confusion
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalkingwithHim2

Invite her for coffee!!!

Ditto!!!!!


Tritto!!!


OK OK I get the idea!!

Next question. Every time I see her it is in a group setting surrounded by people, a couple other women in particular are always nearby. If I stop to talk to "her" they just stand there, more or less listening in and waiting for me to leave. While I don't care if other people know I asked her to coffee, I don't want to ask her in front of them. I feel that would be awkward for everyone there, particularly the other women since their not getting asked. So the question is how do I get her away from the crowd to ask her without being tacky? I have always felt when people have asked to speak with one person in a group it comes off as tacky to the other people there who were already talking to the person. I might be able to get an e-mail address but it's not like I met her on-line where I wouldn't feel strange asking her out by e-mail but since I met her in a face to face setting I think it would be better to ask her out in that setting.
Post #: 26
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 9/18/2009 11:06:04 AM   
Taffy_


Posts: 2235
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline 		Ask her if she would mind talking to you alone for a minute. She'll tell the others to take a hike!
Post #: 27
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 9/18/2009 2:59:00 PM   
sudden


Posts: 124
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		If she has a listed number you could always pick up the phone/

_____________________________

Deep peace of the running waves to you, Deep peace of the flowing air to you, Deep peace of the shining stars to you, Deep peace of the quiet earth to you,
Deep peace of the Son of Peace to you.
Post #: 28
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 9/18/2009 3:56:08 PM   
Hadassah_


Posts: 8777
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WalkingwithHim2

Ask her if she would mind talking to you alone for a minute. She'll tell the others to take a hike!

Ditto! (we think alike too much!)

_____________________________

I Vinegar!!!!
Post #: 29
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 9/22/2009 7:10:52 PM   
sudden


Posts: 124
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		So? What happened? Did you ask her for coffee? Did she call you? What?

_____________________________

Deep peace of the running waves to you, Deep peace of the flowing air to you, Deep peace of the shining stars to you, Deep peace of the quiet earth to you,
Deep peace of the Son of Peace to you.
Post #: 30
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 9/23/2009 7:57:54 AM   
herestoresmysoul

 

Posts: 1943
Joined: 3/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sudden

So? What happened? Did you ask her for coffee? Did she call you? What?


hey sudden you are nosey (Like we all are. lol)
Post #: 31
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 9/23/2009 12:28:54 PM   
trainfan


Posts: 4756
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: The land of confusion
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sudden

So? What happened? Did you ask her for coffee? Did she call you? What?


Nothing has happened so far, the last time I saw her neither of us was feeling too well and she came to the group with some other guy. That was a strange situation b/c he paid almost no attention to her, preferring to read rather than talk. He actually seemed agitated when someone did try to talk to him and she didn't introduce him to anyone. I have no idea who he is so I guess I'll see if he shows up again.

I also have a massive project coming up that will take a ton of time, so I don't know if this would be the best time to try pursue her. Maybe that is something for a different thread though.
Post #: 32
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 9/23/2009 12:47:15 PM   
Elena1030


Posts: 3141
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trainfan

I also have a massive project coming up that will take a ton of time, so I don't know if this would be the best time to try pursue her. Maybe that is something for a different thread though.


Well, you do take breaks once in a while, yes?

You don't have to zoom in and focus on pursuing her to the point of not giving time and attention to anything else. Or focusing on the work project to the exclusion of other things.
One can walk and chew gum at the same time, right?

Or maybe it's my multitasking female brain that says one can focus on a lot of major things at once. (Or... it's just my Elena brain... which likes to hop from thing to thing.)


I do appreciate how thought-full and concerned you are about this possibility. And that you want to be a good steward of all that God has given you -- including your business, your energies, your time, your focus.
And you know yourself better than we do... how to marshall your energies and time.

So... I'm just mullin' this thing over with ya.

_____________________________

"I like to stride, not mince." -- Maggie

Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
Post #: 33
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 9/29/2009 2:10:19 PM   
FunBetty


Posts: 5274
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Land o Cheesecake and Pizza
Status: offline 		Trainfan, trainfan, trainfan....

These ladies have offered you excellent advice. I'm coming in with a few more cents worth.

1) Just because a woman is interested in a man, does not mean she will always be interested in a man. If she feels it is a lost cause, she may give up. Been there, done that many times.

2) While the fact that you have projects to take on that you want to devote your time and effort to is very honorable...I would not shy away from a potential romantic opportunity without making an effort to balance the two. Reality is-- once you do find that special someone and proceed to marriage, kids, whatever...they're always going to be taking up your time and learning how to balance life now will help you further down the road.

3) You said she brought a gentleman to the group. Since you don't know who he is, don't make assumptions.

4) You said it was hard to get her alone for conversation. Have you tried lingering after the end of the group meeting to see if she happens to stick around? Also, does this group do anything social on the side (ie. dinner, activities, whatever)?

and like the other girls, coffee is a great idea. You're not proposing marriage to her....just some friendly conversation. Why not ask for a cup of coffee now (with no expectations) and see if there's going to be any potential from there?

_____________________________

My PFY
Post #: 34
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 9/29/2009 7:33:41 PM   
Hadassah_


Posts: 8777
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FunBetty

Trainfan, trainfan, trainfan....

These ladies have offered you excellent advice. I'm coming in with a few more cents worth.

1) Just because a woman is interested in a man, does not mean she will always be interested in a man. If she feels it is a lost cause, she may give up. Been there, done that many times.

2) While the fact that you have projects to take on that you want to devote your time and effort to is very honorable...I would not shy away from a potential romantic opportunity without making an effort to balance the two. Reality is-- once you do find that special someone and proceed to marriage, kids, whatever...they're always going to be taking up your time and learning how to balance life now will help you further down the road.

3) You said she brought a gentleman to the group. Since you don't know who he is, don't make assumptions.

4) You said it was hard to get her alone for conversation. Have you tried lingering after the end of the group meeting to see if she happens to stick around? Also, does this group do anything social on the side (ie. dinner, activities, whatever)?

and like the other girls, coffee is a great idea. You're not proposing marriage to her....just some friendly conversation. Why not ask for a cup of coffee now (with no expectations) and see if there's going to be any potential from there?

What I bolded is HUGE!

Here's a way to look at it and if I already said it, I apologise; apparently it needs to be said.

I'm assuming this woman is a Christian as are you. So this woman is your sister in Christ. IF she is interested in you, then you are not doing what you can to uplift your sister. You see, she sees you, and is interested. You do nothing about it so sooner or later she is going to assume you are not interested and one) possibly feel rejected about it and two) have an even harder time showing her interest to the next man.

IMO, if a man catches a hint that a woman may be interested in him, I do believe it is HIS responsibility to act accordingly; either man up and ask her out, or tell her that you aren't interested in her that way. Either way it gives her a clear mind about things and you both walk away satisfied.

_____________________________

I Vinegar!!!!
Post #: 35
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 10/29/2009 5:21:51 AM   
Anon101


Posts: 200
Joined: 10/21/2009
Status: offline 		TOTALLY! She is dropping granades, IMO. :)
Post #: 36
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 10/30/2009 7:29:24 PM   
EclecticJoy


Posts: 9340
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . and that's exactly where I want to be!
Status: offline 		^^^ LOL!




quote:

ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

quote:

ORIGINAL: WalkingwithHim2

Invite her for coffee!!!

Ditto!!!!!


Tritto!!!
Quatritto!

(Ok, so that's not a real word . . . but you get the message).



Trainfan, ask the lady out!

. . . Even if it's for 15 or 30 minutes while you're zipping from task to task regarding the project you're working on. If you can only do small snippets right now; be upfront with her about that, and tell her why . . . "I'd really like to get to know you better. I'm working on a really big project right now and time is kinda tight, but I'd love to buy you a cup of coffee. Are you available at _____ (time) on _____ (day)"

If you want to ask her out and there's other women hanging around, just look at her, smile and say, "Do you have a moment? I'd like to talk to you privately, please."
Post #: 37
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 11/28/2009 12:28:46 PM   
churchsinger

 

Posts: 31
Joined: 7/23/2009
Status: offline 		My opinion is that she is interested. I don't act that way around guys if I'm being nice like a friend. Spit and shine like one poster said and say, Thanks for being such an encouraging person. Hey can I treat you to a cup of coffee?
Post #: 38
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/15/2009 6:29:11 PM   
BillieMae.


Posts: 3047
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: PA, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trainfan


quote:

I wonder why you think she is out of your league? Did you know that many beautiful women have trouble getting dates because many men think as you do?


I don't think this has as much to do with her looks alone as it does with her with the type of job she does.

I must comment here - trainfan, as professions go, yours is to be admired at least as much as any. And, I've seen you, and in that respect, you're a catch!

So do you need another kick in the butt, or what?

_____________________________

><> Pam

*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ *


From the rising of the sun til the sun goes down, let the name of the Lord be praised!

< that's my mom <
Post #: 39
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/15/2009 8:47:05 PM   
trainfan


Posts: 4756
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: The land of confusion
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Howzat...

quote:

ORIGINAL: trainfan


quote:

I wonder why you think she is out of your league? Did you know that many beautiful women have trouble getting dates because many men think as you do?


I don't think this has as much to do with her looks alone as it does with her with the type of job she does.

I must comment here - trainfan, as professions go, yours is to be admired at least as much as any. And, I've seen you, and in that respect, you're a catch!

So do you need another kick in the butt, or what?




Thanks Howzat.

Since this thing is still on going but the schedules on both sides of this thing have gotten in the way and my schedule is insane right now with Christmas. I think I will be doing some asking after the new year before you come here and give that kick.
Post #: 40
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/15/2009 9:12:14 PM   
BillieMae.


Posts: 3047
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: PA, USA
Status: offline 		Okay, I'll hold off until then. But I'm holdin' ya to it!

_____________________________

><> Pam

*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ *


From the rising of the sun til the sun goes down, let the name of the Lord be praised!

< that's my mom <
Post #: 41
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/18/2009 3:50:58 PM   
trainfan


Posts: 4756
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: The land of confusion
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Howzat...

Okay, I'll hold off until then. But I'm holdin' ya to it!


Oh Oh I'm stuck now!
Post #: 42
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/18/2009 3:54:17 PM   
Taffy_


Posts: 2235
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, and keep in mind that we can stalk you allllllll over the internet
Post #: 43
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/18/2009 4:08:51 PM   
trainfan


Posts: 4756
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: The land of confusion
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Taffy_

Yes, and keep in mind that we can stalk you allllllll over the internet


I'm more afraid of Howzat kicking me.
Post #: 44
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/18/2009 4:21:21 PM   
BillieMae.


Posts: 3047
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: PA, USA
Status: offline

_____________________________

><> Pam

*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ *


From the rising of the sun til the sun goes down, let the name of the Lord be praised!

< that's my mom <
Post #: 45
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/18/2009 4:30:23 PM   
trainfan


Posts: 4756
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: The land of confusion
Status: offline 		^



See she practicing already!
Post #: 46
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/18/2009 4:42:01 PM   
BillieMae.


Posts: 3047
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: PA, USA
Status: offline

_____________________________

><> Pam

*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ *


From the rising of the sun til the sun goes down, let the name of the Lord be praised!

< that's my mom <
Post #: 47
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/18/2009 4:50:45 PM   
Taffy_


Posts: 2235
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline 		That's because she are smarticals
Post #: 48
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/28/2009 1:29:04 PM   
trainfan


Posts: 4756
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: The land of confusion
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trainfan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Howzat...

quote:

ORIGINAL: trainfan


quote:

I wonder why you think she is out of your league? Did you know that many beautiful women have trouble getting dates because many men think as you do?


I don't think this has as much to do with her looks alone as it does with her with the type of job she does.

I must comment here - trainfan, as professions go, yours is to be admired at least as much as any. And, I've seen you, and in that respect, you're a catch!

So do you need another kick in the butt, or what?




Thanks Howzat.

Since this thing is still on going but the schedules on both sides of this thing have gotten in the way and my schedule is insane right now with Christmas. I think I will be doing some asking after the new year before you come here and give that kick.



Just thought I would put in a short update. I know it's not after New Years yet.....................but...................I did sit with her in church yesterday! It was supposed to be the whole group meeting to sit together. We were the first 2 there so went so went and sat down. About half the group didn't show up at all and the ones that did must've sat elsewhere b/c I didn't see any of them until after the service.
Post #: 49
RE: Is she dropping hints or just being friendly? - 12/28/2009 2:44:11 PM   
Elena1030


Posts: 3141
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trainfan


Just thought I would put in a short update. I know it's not after New Years yet.....................but...................I did sit with her in church yesterday! It was supposed to be the whole group meeting to sit together. We were the first 2 there so went so went and sat down. About half the group didn't show up at all and the ones that did must've sat elsewhere b/c I didn't see any of them until after the service.


Good for you!!!

_____________________________

"I like to stride, not mince." -- Maggie

Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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